Hesitance in a Bottle
by HanyouHeart
Summary: OneShot Character Death. Ed needs an out from the horrible depression that came with the death of this brother and Roy, but he can only think of one way to do it. BBI based. Full Summ inside


**Hello! This is just another oneshot BBI fic I cooked up a while ago but never put up. If you dont know what BlueBird's Illusion is, you should still be able to understand the story. BBI is a chinese fan game where Ed kills himself and becomes the homunculus known as 'Pride' This is one of my version of how he dies.**

**Summary- Ed need an out from the horrible depression that came with the death of his brother an Roy, but he can only think of one way to do it...**

**Please R&R**

**Hesitance from a Bottle**

Ed ripped out another page from the scattered photo albums, with every picture he saw of Al or Roy, a fresh round of tears came falling.

He couldn't believe they were gone.

It had happened not even a day ago, he had watched his brother disappear from him, the fatal wound was clearly visible in Al's side, what hurt Ed the most was the look of shame written on his face before he departed.

Ed clutched the aching heart in his chest, every time he thought back to even the faintest memories his it felt like it was being squeezed by a clawed hand. He shut his eyes tight and threw the page away from him, it joined the many other photos, most of them were spotted from tears. Ed guided a hand to an almost empty liquor bottle and drained it.

Photos weren't the only thing scattered on the ground.

Ed bit back the urge to gag from the horrible taste that came from the many bottles and let his mind go number and number until he could hardly think or see straight He liked the way it eased his pain and how it felt like the world around him had stopped.

Ed carelessly tossed the bottle aside, but the movement didn't come without consequences. His stomach gave a sickening lurch and a violent headache erupted within his temples. He cried out in pain and collapsed to the ground from his knees, clutching his head in one hand and wrapping and arm around his stomach. He tried to move as little as possible but it didn't help his sickened insides.

Ed couldn't fight it anymore and clumsily supported his upper-half with his arms and vomited, tears mixing in with the blood and fire water. He ended the episode with a series of harsh coughs that burned his throat with every exhale.

Ed quickly smashed open the top of another bottle and started to drain it, the jagged edges pricked his tongue but he had to get rid of the burn in his mouth. He was relived when he felt himself start to go numb and placed the now half-empty blue bottle aside and looked at the mess in front of him, the depression he felt was unbearable and the memories imbedded in the photos made it even worse.

He just wanted to end it.

He just wanted to end the both mental and physical pain he had felt the past day, to forget everything that had happened and live a peaceful life with his brother.

_'But that's not going to happen, he's dead remember?'_ a mimicking voice said inside him. Ed clutched his head as if to squeeze the voice out, "Shut-Up!" But it continued.

_'If you want it to end so badly, there are plenty of ways to do it'_

Ed opened his eyes, that's right, he had been suffering so badly yet he didn't even think to…

"But what would Al think of me if I did that?" he asked whoever he was talking to.

_'Who cares? You don't know what a dead person thinks until you meet him'_

That was right.

_'So what are you going to do?'_

"I don't know"

_'Listen, you can either live as a depressed loner, or relive the pain permanently, it's that easy'_

"I don't want to listen!" Ed cried, "I'm confused" the last part was barley a whisper.

_'Stop acting like a child and do it!'_

"No!" Ed tightened his grip on his hair until it almost hurt "What if I don't make the right choice?"

_'You'll know if it's the right choice when you've done it'_

Ed remained silent; he had just realized that he had been talking to himself in the middle of his brother's room. He got into a sitting position and rested his head on his knees, sobbing and trying to think about what he should do, but his hazy mind only ever came to one conclusion, and he hardly felt it, but something said it was a bad idea.

He continued to think it over and over while he drained the remaining amount from his newest bottle.

He made up his mind.

Ed felt sick again but he ignored it as much as possible as he practically dragged himself the drawers to his brother's desk. He had tried to walk earlier, but it felt like gravity was forcing him down and he had gotten sick. He searched through the drawers of the desk until he reached the last on and found it.

A heavy, black, hand-gun remained hidden under papers, Ed had given it to Al for self defense but he knew his brother would never use it, he was glad his brother still kept it for he intended to fire its first shot.

Ed undid the safety and stared at it for a minute, fingering the different parts as he tried to bring his mind to reality.

But he was too drowned to even try.

He gave a shuddery sigh and let his hands aim the gun where it wanted to go.

Under the chin.

It was probably the quickest way, and that was all Ed wanted, he closed his eyes and asked himself one more time if this was the right thing to do.

_'Do it.'_

Ed swallowed hard and placed a finger on the trigger, tapping it lightly and still thinking.

_'Just do it!'_

He nodded and secured his finger more tightly around the trigger, adding more and more pressure until it was almost enough to blow.

Without warning reality washed over him and he realized what he was doing and wanted to stop immediately.

"Wait I changed-!"

It was too late; the action had caused his finger to press harder on the trigger until there was a bang.

He was dead before he hit the floor.

* * *

**What do you think, please review once you read it so I know! There are also other fics that I wrote where Ed kills himself if any of you are interested. I'm also working on another one that is 'Pride' based but it wont be up till later on.**


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